Imperfections #1 // BTS

On the 19th, I went out to Cockatoo Island (again), for the second time this week.

This time I accompanied LQ and JT there, as a part of LQ's 'Imperfections' project that he recently started. I'm super excited to see the final shots and the project as a whole!

Myself? I was there as an assistant, and just to help out in any way possible. I think the term 'helping out' is often underplayed; I think we seem to forget the difference an assistant can make when we're doing something big.

I've learned time and time again that I can achieve a lot more when someone else is there with me, or assisting me. Prime example is #selective. Let's not go into the nitty gritty because I'll be here forever, but let's just say that I've achieved so much more as a team than I could even have dreamed of, and I owe it all to two particular people. (who surely know who they are as they read this)

Back to the topic of the photoshoot (more on this tangent later on)

I brought with me my D7100 with my 35mm prime lens, whilst LQ, the primary photographer, was decked up with this gear:

That softbox though. Much admiration.

New camera, new equipment, and new experience.

We're all pretty new to the whole photoshoot thing. Needless to say, the #VALEDICTORY photoshoot was pretty nerve-wracking beforehand, because it was like nothing we'd ever done before.

I've done a couple of photoshoots before, but they were nothing of this scale, and they were also a very long time ago. Additionally, the past photoshoots I've done really didn't have much of an aim or goal -- most of it was improvised. The recent two, on the other hand, were different.

I can't help but feel that in the past year, I've grown a lot in terms of photography. I like to think I've gotten better and more confident. Additionally, I feel like photography has grown to be such a big component of my life. It's actually become a part of who I am; when asked to introduce myself or say something about me, it's inevitable now that I mention 'photography'. And we all know one thing that catalysed this exponential growth (#selective).

Sorry, many tangents today. Maybe because it's currently 12:42AM and I can't sleep because I'm waiting for photos to transfer and I also took a long nap today.

Anyway. It was a big shoot. A lot of pressure. My point was that, with the extra experience and growth in photography, I feel that there's more pressure for us to do well. I say 'us' because I don't feel right saying 'I', now that #selective has grown so big and I owe it so much.

It's nice to always have someone to lean back on, especially in terms of photography. Photography can be a one-man job, no kidding, and in February this year, I was mostly under that mindset. But with working together in #selective? Man, oh man. Now I truly appreciate and understand how valuable it is to have another person on the team. I don't even know how to express it in words.

I really like this photo

ANYWAY. SORRY. I keep spilling all over the place.

Photoshoot.

Was good.

Lighting was a bit hard to deal with, though.

JT was a wonderful (and I genuinely mean it) model. Completely natural and brilliant to work with!

I wasn't there to take her portraits, so I just took a few here and there as behind the scenes.

I mostly did filming with my GoPro and just offering another perspective or advice.

Everything felt so professional and it's a wonder to think that we're all 17/18 years of age(?). Sometimes I still can't believe that I'm here, working with LQ, and doing photography projects.

Like, what?

Had to use a improvised clip. Eh, you gotta do what you gotta do.

This entire post is just a big jumble of photography thoughts, but it needs to be said. I read LQ's blogpost about his thoughts on photography and it got me thinking.

Sometimes I still can't believe how big a role photography plays in my life. 

9 months ago it could hardly measure. 9 months ago, photography was something I liked. Something I would sometimes do, where I mostly took photos of school events and of my friends doing weird things, or whatever I saw fit/fancy on the day.

It wasn't anything, really. Just something I did.

But 3/4 of a year down the track, with #selective booming like I never anticipated it ever would, everything has changed.

Photography is a part of me. It's now something that defines me, and I'm certain that in decades time, whether or not #selective is still around, I'll still remember it vividly. I'll remember working with LQ and MX and the things we achieved. The struggles, the problems, and the teamwork. The things we learned from each other and how we watched each other grow. And that's what makes it worth it, I believe.

It makes it worth the hours of editing, planning, stressing and staying up late uploading. There's so much that goes into photography and up until February 2014, it had been a one-man journey for me.

But now it's not, and I wouldn't trade that fact for anything.

In Feb 2014, I was still under the impression that my photography was nothing. It would never amount to anything. I knew I liked it, and I knew I was better than average at it, but it wasn't anything special. It wasn't anything big, and I was convinced that it would never be anything big.

When LQ approached me with this idea, I said "I don't mind", which is not really the most enthusiastic response. We were both very hesitant, and I remember a FB message where we were questioning "Is this really happening? Are we making a facebook page?".

But I'm so glad we stuck through with it. I'm so glad that I decided on that fateful day to say "Yeah, alright, let's give this a shot. Why not?". I had been thinking "What's the point? I doubt anything will ever come from this" when LQ first proposed the idea, but something made me say yes.

I don't regret it at all.

In short, this is just a huge round-a-bout way to express my thanks and wonder at photography and the role that #selective has played. Most of all, my thanks to LQ because we were all that close from not having this. And in an infinite other universes, maybe #selective didn't happen. Maybe those Manjekah's weren't lucky enough.

Wherever #selective goes, or whatever it brings us in the future, right now I'm just grateful that I have #selective, and the two lovely people that I work with.