Today I paid $148 for a vaccine // comments on health accessibility and the lottery

{A blurb of thoughts as I check my privilege. Topics covered: health costs, health accessibility, the lottery of life, and barriers to fixing it. Approximately a 7-8 minute read. Also funny comics. Also my last post for the year.}

"Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life." -- Cecil Rhodes

I hate acknowledging this fact but I have won the lottery at birth. 

A lottery that I entered as I paid the price of being born into this world.

I am, of course, not an Englishman, but let's not take the quote at face value.

I was selected, perhaps by destiny, fate, or more probably, chance and random fertilisation, to be born at the dawn of the 21st Century in a first-world country, to loving parents who only wanted the best for me. Because of the lucky-draw of circumstances I was bestowed with financial stability, a house to call Home, good health, opportunity, and health care.*

* I will not address the other aspects of inequality that concern me in this post for it would be far too complex and long-winded. The fact that I am female, Asian, and not bestowed with the first-price in the lottery of attractiveness or intelligence (or any skill) has undoubtfully made my life more difficult than others who are more fortunate, even in the 21st Century. I am by no means at the top of the financial hierarchy or social ladder, but in a general sense I am quite lucky, so let's go with that assumption and generalisation. I am also assuming that most people reading this post are also in a similar position where, for the most part, life is pretty damn good in comparison with the majority of people in the world. Let's be honest here.

Inequality is a big thing. A big topic. And I'm in no position to address it entirely. I am merely but a nineteen year old, living in Australia who -- like most people in this world -- are aware enough to identify the intense inequality in the world.

So really, all I can do is comment on the experience I had earlier this month when I walked (just five minutes!) to my local family health practice to have an appointment with a fully-qualified General Practitioner.

And promptly paid over $200 for my entire fifteen minute consultation.

I was shocked, to say the least. The consultation cost that much?! $148 for a vaccine?! A vaccine for two diseases that could potential leave me with acute liver failure (Hepatitis A) or an intense rollercoaster of a health-fight lasting four weeks (Typhoid). And you tell me there are more vaccines I need to get in a few weeks which will cost me another few hundred?! Blasphemy!

Toothpaste For Dinner

I was immediately embarrassed and shamed by this all-too-natural reaction, because surely I shouldn't be complaining. Here I am, travelling to relatively safe locations in these South-East Asian countries, with the option to receive these vaccinations in the first place. And don't forget that I actually can afford these costs, even though it makes me uncomfortable spending so much.

After all, "Health comes first."

But that's only because I'm lucky enough to have that option in the first place.

It took me a fee of over $200 to realise this (it was the first time I had paid anything like this by myself, now that I am no longer a child and have finally gone to the Doctor by myself). Now isn't that something?

And I live in a country where these diseases are not a regular threat (or, really, a threat at all). I find it difficult to even begin to wonder what it would be like to live in a third-world country where these diseases are an active and frequent threat, and not even be able to think about paying for a vaccine because, let's face it, hunger, dehydration, and murder are more common threats to life than something as 'insignificant' as Hepatitis infection. Or so I imagine.

The truth is, living in a first-world country with such privilege, I cannot even begin to genuinely imagine what health accessibility in a less-fortunate country is like. We become so shielded by what we have that we forget to look past our mountains and barriers constructed of education, social security, defence protection, and health care. We do not see the children with malaria working in intense labour to raise funds for painkillers to support their parents with liver failure. We do not see the young girls faced with arranged marriages and no tertiary education or career path. We do not see the billions of people around the world who lost the lottery.

We, ultimately, do not see how fortunate we are**.

** I use this in a metaphorical sense. I do believe people can be aware of their fortunate circumstances, but I feel that it is inherently very, very difficult to genuinely understand what less-fortunate people in the world experience, because it is so natural for us to forget and because we do not personally experience it. It is a part of human nature to become used to our surroundings -- we adapt to our environments, and thus become used to it. Clean water, food, and shelter is something we take for granted because that's how we survive and live in our first-world. Such things are not 'lucky' to us because we receive them every day. It would be too mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually exhausting to live like a third-world individual in a first-world environment -- imagine if I cried with happiness every time I could drink clean clean water? I'd cry out all the fluids that I'd have consumed in the first place. We adapt to our surroundings and I believe we cannot blame anyone for that because it is a part of human nature. However, that does not mean it is the morally or ethically correct; whether it is or not is not in my position to judge, but either way it is a fact of life.

Not so simple, really.
Married To The Sea

I am in no way trying to accuse everyone of being ignorant of our circumstances. I genuinely believe that we all have the capacity to acknowledge our luck and be grateful for it -- I have met more than a handful of people who are so incredibly aware and grateful for their comfortable lives. But it is easy to forget, and I admit that about myself as well.

"You've been diagnosed with a classic case of first-world syndrome."
"To be honest I don't really give a shit."
Toothpaste For Dinner

The inequality and gap is so extreme that I genuinely believe I cannot even fathom what it would actually be like to be in an unfortunate situation. It is beyond my experience or imagination to really know what life is like without the fortunes I have been blessed with. 

"Well I guess I can only afford that so it'll have to do."
Married To The Sea

And that leaves me wondering and questioning, and also feeling slightly guilty about this whole roll-of-the-dice chance. Am I merited to feel guilty about receiving education? Should I feel bad about paying $148 for a vaccine that is completely inaccessible to the general population? Am I obliged to say 'Thank you' to the GP who overcharged me for a consultation and the pharmaceutical companies that make me pay an extreme price for a single vaccination? Or am I justified to be mad and angry at how much it cost me for such a short consultation? (Mind you, the consultation wasn't great either. I left the place feeling like the Doctor didn't really care about my health and no sense of general rapport).

I suppose this is the epitome of 'First World Problems'. Thinking about inequality always makes me feel shameful about complaining, and apologetic for my fortune. I am sorry for winning the lottery and living such a comfortable life. I am sorry that I take advantage of all my opportunities and often forget how lucky I am. I am sorry that I am not volunteering every single moment of my life trying to fix and address this problem. I am sorry I chose ignorance, naivety, and the 'easy way out' all these years. All these years I bathed in the good fortune that I was given from the day I entered the world, trying hard not to think too much about inequality because I knew that if I did, I would come to the same shameful feeling and be left with confusion.

But all is not so bad. (After all, I live in a first-world country so really, most things aren't so bad). Being aware is step one. I am determined that in life, once I am older, mature-enough, and strong-enough (in more ways than one) I will set out to help fix as much of this that I think is reasonable for a single person. Mark my words, you heard it here first. One day I will be a cog in the works trying to fix this entire dysfunctional machine. At least, this is what I tell myself to justify my actions and make myself feel a little bit better.

But, of course, this is not an easy problem to fix, and it frequently plagues me to think about it. I believe it is hard to fix because we believe it is out of our control. What are we going to do? Boycott taking advantage of our lucky circumstances? Rebel against public education and stop going to supermarkets and earning an income?

Toothpaste For Dinner

It is not an easy problem to fix, and it is far too easy to dismiss it as 'beyond our control' and quit before an attempt has been made. Let's not forget the fact that for the most part, we are not exposed to it at all. I see my friends living more lavish lives than I am, I see acquaintances complaining about their umbrella breaking in the rain, or how their phone was stolen from them at a party. To most people, those are the 'bad things' that happen in life, and there is always someone who is more lucky, fortunate, and living an easier life than you are. Which is true. But I believe this makes it difficult to be aware of the problem in the first place.

Assuming we acknowledge it (which most people do, as easy as it is to also forget it), and although it is an ethical and moral dilemma (I haven't even touched the idea of 'survival of the fittest' and Neodarwinism and/or biological arguments in this post) that will take a lot of time, man-power, and (let's face it) money to fix, I genuinely do believe that we can make it better. But it won't be as simple as the flick of a switch.

Natalie Dee

Additionally, very few people in this world are willing to give up all of their fortune in the blink of an eye. We much prefer to take advantage of our luck because that is how we have lived; because we worked hard for it, we deserve it, and because it is accessible to us.

But what does it really mean to 'deserve' all of this?

Funny, and only mildly relevant.
Married to the Sea

I hate the word 'deserve'. Who am I, or anyone for that matter, to decide who 'deserves' something more than another person? Who 'deserves' health care? Do I 'deserve' to pay $148 for a vaccine that could save my life, for a holiday with friends to another country that is at high-risk for this disease? Do the people there 'deserve' to not have that vaccine available? Do I 'deserve' to live such a comfortable life where I can sit here for two hours and write this post while the vaccine courses through my body, knowing that lunch is in the fridge and the water in the glass on my right is safe to drink***?

***Assuming Sydney Water has not failed us again, just like in 1998.

Do I deserve all of these things? Do others in the world deserve any less?

Of course not, silly.

But I'm still going to get that vaccine because I won the lottery and I am entitled to all the benefits that come with that. Or so I have been raised to think.

No, I do not believe I am selfish for paying $148 for a vaccine. I do not believe I should feel guilty about my circumstances because I do not control chance and I did not choose for this to happen. I should not feel bad about winning a lottery that I was forced to enter from the day I was born.

Yes, I may have won the lottery.

But winning the lottery doesn't define who you are. 

What you do with the money is what sets us apart.

"Forget the lottery. Bet on yourself instead." -- Brian Koslow

Have a good day, everyone, and enjoy the rest of the year.